I have to say this is the parents fault

I have to say this is the parents fault -WHY did they let her buy a new mustang- there is a HUGE difference between a job for a little extra spending money some fashionable clothes and allowing a child to have an adult lifestyle ( new car etc) because they have a job –

I worked PT from 9th grade thru nursing school my grades never showed the difference (A’s) because I put school not work first — again IMO that is the parents fault if they let their kids grades fail and continue to let them work — when I was growing up working was considered a privileged and grades – attitude had to be kept up to keep the job.

I can tell you that when i was in nursing school i could point out which kids never ever had a job of any-kind- very little responsibility for anything – from leaving their stuff all over the schools kitchen to not taking clinical as id it was a ” job” in itself ( which it was )

Plus many kids have no choice if they want some extras- IMO it is much worse for a Mom to leave teh family so teh kids can have these extras than for the kids to work a few hours a week

I think the # 1 thing is doing al things in moderation- i bet 99% of kids who work ~ 10 hours a week will not have problems with grades etc. as compared to those trying to pay off cars etc. ( which IMO a new car for a teen is absolutely ridiculously a WANT not a need – a safe reliable car is a need and even that is questionable- i used my moms car until i got a used Toyota at 19 yo to drive to and from nursing school in )

Teens working

Felt compelled to reply when I heard about a teen wanting to work on a farm…farm work is one of the most dangerous jobs there are. Many farmers are killed or maimed each year and often these are young people who may understand how to drive a piece of machinery but don’t have the maturity/judgment to be around such dangerous equipment.

Even adult don’t always think/remember what they are doing. Remember taking care of a woman who had been partially scalped/one ear lost when she was working around a corn picker without her long hair under a cap and it got sucked into the machinery. The law says kids can’t work around dangerous machinery but it happens all too frequently…like slicers in deli’s and fast food shops…a neighbor kid cut off 4 fingers and lost his dream of joining the service using this kind of machinery; all to keep up his car.

Another girl was nearly killed falling asleep on her way home from her Walmart job all to keep up the payments on her new Mustang. I personally don’t think teens should work –their education should be primary interest with time for family, friends, church and community service. Studies have shown that the majority of teens who work have lower grades.

Plenty of years when you’ll have to work. DEE

When our son was born

When our son, Chucky was born, DH didn’t have a whole lot to do with him…DH was an only child and had not really been around kids….he was scared of Chucky. He made some comments to me one time about having to “babysit” Chucky when I went to a bridal shower…or something like that. I told him that you can’t “babysit” your own child…etc. I think I made him feel really bad, because after that, he made more of an effort to get to know his child. (Plus seeing how my dad and my brothers interacted with their kids helped)

He grew up without really knowing his father, so I don’t think he really understood the father-child bond. I have to say…he is one terrific father now and has been since Chucky was about a year old. In fact, he deals better with the kids in alot of aspects then I do, even though I’m around them more. He is better with them when they are sick, deals with emergency situations better and is more of a pushover too..LOL He is one heck of a guy! He is still nervous around babies, especially ones that aren’t ours…but he’ll have to get over that again..come November..

Joni

I know DH’s who would rather their kids be in daycare than they have to do things like this !!!

Budget Blown!

We have had a very expensive summer. Building a deck (saved for but cost more than we figured), truck died need to get a new vehicle, vacation, and now next week my daughter will be getting braces.

Thank God for that emergency fund. Anyway I wasn’t going to buy any groceries this month to try to replace the EF but then SuperK and Safeway have such great sales this week.

I just went and spent about $100 on tuna 3/$1, coffee $3.99/34 oz, $1.69/ BLSL chix breasts, .29/# leg quarters, .99/# hamburger, .99/ribs, BOGO waffles. I won’t need meat for about 6 months. Maybe next month I can start with the EF again.

Terry

This is an interesting issue

When I taught, I had a lot of kids in my classes who worked. I can’t imagine how some of them did it! I knew students (I also was director of the flag corps) who worked mornings, went to school all day, went to track or volleyball practice right after school, went to flag or band right after sports, and finally made it home after practice, which ended at 9:30. Poor kids. I could hardly keep up with my OWN schedule.

I think a lot depends on the individual kid and how he/she responds to the responsibility. I had an interesting situation…siblings whose parents didn’t work. The girl got a job when she was a sophomore, and worked all through high school. I was so impressed with her initiative. By her senior year, I knew that she was working at least 30 h per week, plus going to vocational school in another town. That year, my teacher’s aide and I paid her car insurance for her…$25.00 a month…her parents wouldn’t help her (in fact, they were known to steal her $$!!). Her father wanted her to quit school and either work ft so that she could give them $$, or quit school AND quit work, so that they (the parents) could get public assistance for her again. (I guess they lost it, or some of it, when she started working.) Anyway! Long story short…she graduated, got a decent job immediately, and has been a hard worker ever since. I am so terribly proud of her, one would think she was my very own!

So in contrast, her brother…got a job in the fields the summer after his sophomore year, got a big head because he could make such great money, and QUIT school. I have talked to him since and he literally cannot see any further than the numbers on his paycheck. He makes okay money when he is working, but he doesn’t understand that he may well be tossing watermelons and detassling corn and living with his parents for the rest of his life, because he has not earned his GED or any other equivalent, and has no skills and no initiative. I have utmost respect for ANYone who works in the fields or any other type of work like that, don’t get me wrong! I just know that this young man settled for the quick fix and has never gotten past that point.

I don’t know what I will do with my boys. We too live in a town with lots of opportunities for young people. (Most of the restaurants seem to be managed by college students. ;->) I know that they will want to work, and I am leaning toward summer jobs and maybe something like paper routes. I am not willing for them to work very many hours, though, at least during the school year. I agree that kids need time to be kids…they will have years and years to worry about earning a paycheck! Unfortunately, they want motor-scooters and the like, and Momma’s budget does NOT allow for stuff like that. 😉

So… I guess I am in a quandary too! I will be eager to hear what everyone else thinks about this one.

Hugs, karol

I would love to see schools going to a program

I would love to see schools going to a program where kids keep the same teacher for a minimum of 3 years, regardless of grade. I taught Special Education for 10 years, and I can tell you that this was one of the most important contributions to having a smooth year and helping kids achieve to their ability. It was SO nice to start the year out already knowing most of the kids, what to expect from them academically, socially, and behaviorally.

And for the kids, the payoffs were great…no need to test the new teacher, no call to prove yourself, and a real sense of ease right from the start. All we needed was a brief reminder about rules and expectations, and we were off.

My oldest son had a terrible year in Kindergarten. He left school that year having decided that he hated school and he was NEVER gonna read books, EVER.

Poor guy. He was so sad, and I was heartbroken to see my bright, optimistic little boy with such a negative experience. When I enrolled him (in a different school district) in 1st grade, I had several options to choose from. I picked the one that would keep the same teacher for at least 2 years, and what a great experience that was for my son! It was the best thing that ever happened to him in school. He had a wonderful teacher for 3 years…one who understood his kind of quirky learning style and could find ways to encourage and help him with his learning.

Anyway, that is ONE of the things I would like to see. Of course, this type of program would require 100% of all teaching staffs to be GOOD, above-and-beyond, dedicated teachers, and that is sadly not often to be found in any school.

When I have worked with really troubled kids, I have found that the most effective tool is consistency. If I had had things *my* way while I was teaching, I would have taken the 12 most troubled kids in the program, put them in MY room for a minimum of 4 hours a day, and taught them all the core subjects there. It would definitely have been different from a run-of-the-mill class…I wanted to teach in a therapeutic classroom, one where we worked on more than just the basic academics.

I also think that an awful lot of kids (not all, but quite a few), would do very well with a year round schedule. Not more than the 180 days that is typical, but perhaps 9 weeks in, 3 weeks out, or something similar. I ran into soooo many kids who would do great for the first 9 or 18 weeks, then just NOT be able to maintain behaviorally or academically. They burned out, and ended up losing the last 1/2 of the school year.

*sigh* If ONLY we had the resources to teach every child in a program that would best fit his/her needs in the truest sense. 🙂

Okay, off the soapbox and off to bed now.

I know some women who can’t handle having only one child

I know some women who can’t handle having only one child, but won’t go into detail about it. If I describe it, somehow someone out there in cyberspace might see themselves in that category and be offended by it. It’s too bad there’s not a course offered and mandated before marriage that requires a couple not only to discuss if and how many children, but how each is going to contribute to the care of one or more. I have a feeling that quite a few divorces could be prevented. It’s one thing to keep your thoughts and dreams to yourself, as well as your partner’s dreams in check.

It’s another to be faced with the brutal facts of how time consuming, hard, even aggravating it is to raise children. It’s not to be taken lightly. It’s not like marriage, where you can just jump off the boat. Well, I guess you can, but not without a great expense to little human lives. It wouldn’t hurt prospective couples to do something like volunteer in a church nursery. Our church is big enough that couples often do just that, but not just young couples. All ages help out. It’s a really nice situation.

In her defense

I think she meant that since it was not a situation where I HAD to work (hopefully) and the fact that there would be FIVE kids he would be in charge of – after working all week long FT plus hours -( about 55 hours a week with no OT pay) my husband must have a lot of patience with kids – which he does- I didn’t see that she said that kids should be put in Daycare so the dad’s didn’t have to watch them.

Many men decide they do not want the their wife’s working at all since they are not use to the kids day to day schedules etc. and for kids just one little change in a schedule can be chaos for the rest of the day – PLUS when i work nights he comes home from work – i take a nap – get ready for work – go to work – he handles any problems from that time till i get home at 6 :15 am including any problems that has the kids getting up in the middle of the night – next AM i get home go to bed he gets up with the kids – gets them breakfast ready for school etc-all while having to get himself ready etc. and i get up after 2 1/2 hours sleep when he is ready to leave for work and i am up for the day – then he goes to work and as soon as he gets home i go to bed – and he is in charge again – so technically he gets no break for almost 36 hours ( if i work a Friday night i sleep Saturday day and he takes all the kids to their sports activities etc- if i do go back to work he will be taking 5 kids one a 6 month- 1 year old along for the ride too- that’s a lot of work !!! I know DH’s who would rather their kids be in daycare than they have to do things like this !!!

Any it does take patience whether Mom or dad to have larger families – most Moms i know with larger families do not work just because the dad’s just cannot juggle the ten things going on at once- as easily as Moms do – especially when the kids are very young.